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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Random Thoughts About Stuff and News

This post will be just like the Gemara, with absolutely not point to it at all. I just had some random thoughts about things. I wanted to put them into a post because they are just too short to put into each individual post.

I guess I start with some news. Honestly Frum put his blog on private. I wanted to go there and read something but it was closed. Well, that is not a big loss. He had nothing that interesting or deep to say. He was a common thinker for the Modern Orthodox Jew who wanted to seem moderate. He will not be missed.

In other news Keith Olberman got suspended from MSNBC. A lot of people are talking about it, so I guess I should add my thoughts to this issue. I do not watch the news, ever. So I could not care less. But other than that, I see nothing amazing about Keith. He is another common thinker. He is a common thinker for liberals. He never had any individual thoughts. He just repeated the stuff liberals always wanted to her. Wow, what a loss.

I do not hate people who oppose me. There are people who I do not agree with but I respect. Because they were individual thinkers. Take like Karl Marx, for example. There is not much I agree with him on. But I respect him. He was an individual thinker and a smart person (though a terrible economist). I may think he is wrong, but he earned my respect.

But Keith is nothing special at all. He repeated the same talking points liberals have been saying. He was the preacher to the choir. Liberals tuned in to hear the things they liked to hear. If Keith had an individuality to him, then maybe I could care. But from everything I see, there is nothing special to Keith whatsoever. So it is no loss that he got fired.

Now to switch to a different topic. Blow jobs. Lots of guys discuss among themselves which girl gives the best blow jobs. Guys brag to one another that his girlfriend gives the best blow job ever. But here is the thing about blow jobs that guys do not really know. Girls suck at doing blow jobs! Not "suck" in the literal meaning, because it is true that girls literally suck, but "suck" in a metaphorical sense. Why? Because these guys never got a blow job from another guy. Guys give better blow jobs than girls. Girls have no idea what they are doing. Why not? Very simple. Because they got no dicks. How can they know how to suck a dick if they got no dick themselves? They just guess at what to do. Guys, however, do have dicks. And they know how blow jobs feel. So they give better blow jobs, far better blow jobs, than girls do.

Straight guys just think there are good girls with blow jobs because they never had one from a guy. Gay guys just think all blow jobs are heaven on earth because they always get them from other gay guys. This is why this truth is never discussed. The straights do not know the good side. And the gays do not know the bad side. So hardly anybody knows the truth about blow jobs.

I wanted to say something about cars. People dream about having the newest and coolest car of all. But I never been able to understand that. If you get yourself a fancy car then you have to worry about it all the time. Did anyone scratch it? Is it safe to park in this neighborhood? The more expensive the car the more into a nervous wreck you turn into.

Do you really need these headaches? Instead get yourself a cheap car. I have a friend who has cars worth between $250 and $500. In fact $500 is too much for him. But he buys cheap cars and fixes them. They are the ugliest pieces of garbage you will ever see in your life. But they are awesome. They drive, rather well actually, not as good as expensive cars, but they take you from one point to another with a few minor problems. They look ugly. Got no paint. Or some paint, and other parts of it rusted. But at least you got not headaches.

The cheapest car is the safest. Nobody ever going to steal it. Why? If it gets scratched, who cares? All the concerns that you have with a normal or expensive car is magically gone with a cheap car.

If I ever need to get a car I will get a cheap ugly one. Never have to worry about anything that way. But other than a car what I really want to get badly is a horse. I love 19th century fashion. I would wear a monocle, it is just that it feels really strange to have one good eye and one bad eye. A horse is beautiful animal. Too bad that horses are probably not allowed on regular traffic. But if I had the money and I was able to ride on regular traffic, I definitely would. I just today, on my way to university, saw a guy riding on a horse in New York City. It was beautiful. And I started having fantasies, what if I had a horse that I rode around?


  1. Exactly like Gemara. And from someone just as wise as Chazal. Whats not to like?

    Perhaps the genius of Keith Olberman is that he is good at presenting information on camera as opposed to blogging his stupid ideas in his underwear with fleshlight at the ready like some I could name.

  2. I have to say, I haven't watched him much but I get the same impression about Olbermann. Maddow, on the other hand, is very smart and knows her stuff.

  3. This was nothing like Gemara. It didn't have strained segues.

  4. "I have to say, I haven't watched him much but I get the same impression about Olbermann.":

    I feel about Olberman the exact same way I feel about Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity.