If you are a guy reading this then you probably know what a fleshlight is. A fleshlight is a male sex toy that replicates the pussy. Well, it can also replicate the mouth or anus, but let us just stick to pussy (actually, it would even be more preferable if we can stick it into a pussy, though that would take us off topic). This is an extremely popular male sex toy. Boys always think about sex, all day long, but they do not want to go through the hassle of finding themselves some pussy. Or these boys might be losers who lack social skills and physical appeal to attract a girl. So instead of going through all those challenges now guys have a place to stick their penis into that feels very close to an actual vagina. I would post a link to how a fleshlight looks like but Google is going to get all butthurt on me because this blog is not labeled "adults only", so to avoid the risk of making the great Google angry how about you just search for this yourselves, on Google (for irony), to see how it looks like if you are interested in seeing it.
Now we need to ask what is a "relationship"? I basically gave you my views (which are infallible, by the way, and if you do not believe me you can go fuck off and die) on this subject many months ago here. Let me summarize my arguments here again.
A relationship is a complex form of prostitution. Prostitution is monetary exchange for sex. A relationship is just like prostitution, just more complex. The boy is expected to do stuff for the girl, and the girl is expected to do stuff for the boy. The boy might have to buy her flowers, take her to movies, go on a dinner with her, or just listen to the bullshit girls talk about and pretend that she has anything of value to say. But this is of course for a price. The boys expects stuff from the girl. The girl cleans his floors, makes him a sam'vich, and sucks on his dick. Both the girl and boy probably have a desire for sex and both of them satisfy that desire when they fuck together. That is all what a relationship is. It is not some selfless act of love, it is not some eternal holy union, it is not some supernatural state of mind, it is just prostitution.
The fleshlight is better than a girlfriend depending on the kind of relationship you want. If you want a girlfriend that makes you sam'viches and cleans your house then I guess it is more desirable to have a girlfriend because the fleshlight is not capable of doing that kind of stuff. But to be fair those girlfriends are a real pain to have. They will constantly complain and talk about how they are "equal members of society". So you will have to get yourself a whip and beat them up a couple of times a week to discipline them into obedient girlfriends. But that is too much of a hassle, you might rather just hire a maid to clean up your house than dealing with this trouble maker girlfriend.
But if your goal in a relationship is to have sex and to satisfy your sex drive then dump your girlfriend. The fleshlight is so much better than a girlfriend in that regard. Just consider the cost of a fleshlight, like 60 or 70 dollars. It depends, some might be even cheaper. I got my fleshlight for only 20 dollars because I brought a used fleshlight on e-Bay from a 62 year old male seller who goes by the name "Aids2U". That is all it costs. Now consider a girlfriend. A girlfriend you need to listen to. And this would not even be a big deal if girls had anything intelligent to say, but you have to listen to them ramble on and on about pointless non-sense. Time is money, the time you waste listening to her adds up, a lot. Then you need to buy her gifts. If you do not buy her gifts then she will get angry at you and not want to fuck you. And those gifts cannot be cheap gifts, they need to be diamonds and gold necklaces. But it does not even stop here. You need to take her out to dinner and to movies. This would not even a big deal but you need to listen to her. You need to go to the dinner she wants and the movie she would like to see, which, without much surprise, turn out being extremely boring movies. That is more money you have to waste. And even if you do everything right girls are unpredictable. They are even more confusing than the quantum world. At any one moment they can start crying and leave you forever, for no reason at all. All that investment you put into her ended up being a failure. But the fleshlight always works for you, so much cheaper, and predictable (since it was designed by a man).
Other than the cost, the fleshlight has a lot of great advantages over a girlfriend. First, your girlfriend might not be in the "mood". In fact, she is usually not in the mood. You are always in the mood, because you are a guy, well except the 30 minutes after you have sex, that is when you are not in the mood, but soon again you are in the mood again. Whenever you want sex you can only have it if she is willing to give it. With a fleshlight this is not so. The fleshlight is always in the mood. Second, you do not need to take out your fleshlight to the movies, or to dinner, or listen to it complain about utter non-sense. Just put your fleshlight away and at any time use it when you need to. Third, the fleshlight is free from all diseases. You can fuck your fleshlight for as long as you like and never worry about contracting diseases from it. Your girlfriend might, in a small chance, end up giving you a disease. The fleshlight is the safest form of all sex. Fourth, the fleshlight cannot get pregnant. No matter how much sperm you pour into the fleshlight it will never get pregnant, even with a quart of sperm. No need for condoms, not need for worries. And definitely no need for unexpected child support 9 months later by your angry girlfriend that one day forgot or was too drunk to take the pill. Fifth, the fleshlight does not get jealous. If you want to use a different fleshlight, go ahead, it will not get jealous and end up keying your car the next day. Sixth, if you ever get angry at your fleshlight you can kill it, your can destroy it, without having to suffer first-degree manslaughter charges (by the way, this is unrelated, but I put laughter into manslaughter). And finally, your fleshlight comes with a warranty.
So fuck girlfriends, not literally speaking, and fuck the fleshlight instead. It is superior to a girlfriend in every aspect. All the worries, costs, hassles, and problems you go through girls you no longer need to go through a fleshlight. They are better than girlfriends. Do not listen to what your girlfriend tells you about the fleshlight. They are jealous of them. Girls are jealous of fleshlights because they finally realize they are obselete. The only real purpose of girls is to fuck, with the fleshlight, they lost all their purpose. No wonder they are so pissed at them.
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Good. At least we can dispense with the idea that you are some kind of intellectual and realize that you are simply a base materialist and hedonist who only cares about himself and views other human beings as meat bags; there to serve his pleasure. Thanks for the clarification.
ReplyDelete"At least we can dispense with the idea that you are some kind of intellectual and realize that you are simply a base materialist and hedonist who only cares about himself and views other human beings as meat bags.":
ReplyDeleteLet us examine everything you posted in that sentence.
You first say that I am not an intellectual. I agree. I am not trying to be an intellectual. Intellectuals are college professors who write papers on why snow white is a sexist movie. Now I am a college professor but I am not in any way connected with the social or humanities or philosophy division in college, hence I cannot be an intellectual.
I rather think of myself as a philosopher, in the sense of someone who examines and thinks about stuff with complete disregard to the world around me. I might be terrible at doing this, perhaps, but at least I seriously try to pursue this.
You then mention how I am a materialist. I am, but in a different way than you imagine. You think of a materialist as someone who only cares about possesions and more money. This is not my personality. I am rather a materialist in the philosophical manner, that is, I do think that explanations of the universe can ultimately be explained through its material structure without inventing a non-material notion of a "soul".
You say that I am a hedonist. No. This is wrong. A hedonist acts to maximize his pleasure and minimize his pain. I do not always act in this manner, nor does anyone else fit this desciption completely. Instead, I act for the will to power.
You then say I view human beings as meat bags. Not quite. I have expressed my view that my favorite part of this pathetic universe are human beings, because humans are the only thing that I know of that can change themselves. For this reason I like people. And I do not view people as meat bags. Babies, yes. Babies are nothing but pieces of meat. I got nothing positive to say about babies.
Neither an intellectual nor a hedonist; I vote for an autistic as I explained elsewhere in this blog. Poor Poor skeptic. (I would not call you spinoza cuz I don't think you resemble the original spinoza at all.)
ReplyDelete"Neither an intellectual nor a hedonist; I vote for an autistic as I explained elsewhere in this blog.":
ReplyDeleteAt least I got a sense of humor.
"You first say that I am not an intellectual. I agree. I am not trying to be an intellectual. Intellectuals are college professors who write papers on why snow white is a sexist movie."
ReplyDeleteYes and libertarian theorists positing how if we just let everyone alone, the world would be way better.
Political philosophy is the essence of intellectual bullshit. Stick to math.
"Yes and libertarian theorists positing how if we just let everyone alone, the world would be way better.":
ReplyDeleteLet me see, if we stop pointing guns around other people will the world be a more peaceful place? I wonder. This is a hard one. I think I am going to go with a "yes" on this.
I do not understand why you need to bring up political philosophy on a post that has nothing to do with political philosophy. This was my attempt at comedy. Why does my philosophy have anything to do with this post? And why do you insist on bring it up in this post? This is not your first time doing this. There were other times when you suddently mention my philosophy in a comment when my post had nothing to say about it. Why are you so obsessed with what I believe?
"Why are you so obsessed with what I believe? "
ReplyDeleteI have little interest in what you believe. I am interested in the potential to write snarky comments that get a rise out of people in general. I know that I can goad you into a response based upon almost anything I write, so perhaps you do not understand that I am also all about comedy.
"I have little interest in what you believe. I am interested in the potential to write snarky comments that get a rise out of people in general. I know that I can goad you into a response based upon almost anything I write, so perhaps you do not understand that I am also all about comedy.":
ReplyDeleteThat is not comedy. That is amusement and entertainment about the manipulation and cruelty of other people. It is a fun thing to do. I agree. I do it myself all the time. I hurt a lot of people with and am entertained by this so very much. I have driven people to commit suicide and I feel nothing at all about that. How beautiful is that? Inflicting suffering without the feeling of guilt. Guilt is a useless passion that humans need to rid themselves from. To my defense, those who I drive to suicide are the weak. I am ridding the world of the weak, for there to be room for the strong, but not by killing them myself, but letting them end their own misery. So I see that you are like me then, good.
I don't see the mutual exclusion. Can't one be a hedonist and an intellectual? For instance, Epircurus was both.
ReplyDelete"I have driven people to commit suicide and I feel nothing at all about that."
ReplyDeleteIf i honestly believe that anyone would listen to you close enough to commit suicide, I would be shocked and appalled, but my strong belief is that this is just more claptrap from a guy who spends his day sitting alone in his underwear with his fleshlight as his only friend.
the Fleshlight is an enhanced stimulation experience. Some people say it's supposed to feel like "the real thing", but it doesn't really. It can actually feel better in some respects when it comes to the actual business of physical stimulation. Much like some of the advanced vibrators do more than just get the job done for the ladies, the Fleshlight is designed to elevate pleasure to levels that you can't achieve with a hand—and, some models can actually stimulate at levels beyond that which you can experience in a vagina. There are a lot of other pleasures to actual sex that the Fleshlight can't replicate—experiences such as body warmth, feelings of affection, mutual excitement, movement, scent, etc., so the Fleshlight makes up for it by providing more actual physical genital stimulation.
ReplyDeletefleshlight sale
Am I the only one laughing and getting a good chuckle out of this? Am I missing why there are an angry bunch of political hacks in the comments?
ReplyDelete