When it comes to love my big problem with people's perception of love is that they treat love as some sort of magical and transcendental experience. A lot of people believe that their love in a relationship is unconditional and will last forever. This is of course not true at all. In fact, a neuroscientist should be able to induce the feeling of love in you towards a stranger, and by a simple rewiring of the brain he should be able to remove your feeling of love from your spouse. This just goes to show how simplistic and entirely reducible love really is. It cannot be magical or transcendental if it follows the same scientific concepts of neuroscience just as every psychological phenomenon in your mind. But I want to concentrate on a different aspect of love, that is couples often see love as a form of genuine love which is not based on people's own interest but rather all based on the interest of the spouse. And this is also not true.
Before I explain why love is not genuine love there are two things we need to understand about relationships. First, everyone is a prostitute, we just have our own prices. Maybe you would not have sex with me if it for $75, but if I offered you $100,000 I am sure you will. Perhaps the price needs to be higher but almost everyone has their own price. Thus, it is fair to say that people are prostitutes with varying degrees of prices. Second, and this is based on the first, is that relationships are just a form of non-monetary prostitution. When a boy and girl enter into a relationship each one does something for the other. The boy may buy gifts for his girlfriend, or take her out to dinner, or repair the sink, whatever it happens to be. But in return the girl will suck on the boy's penis, she would have sex with him, go to the kitchen and make him a sandwich, and so forth. The point is that the relationship between the boy and the girl is an exchange. The exchange is, in a relationship, sexual for possibly non-sexual services. Thus, from that point of view, a relationship is similar to prostitution, except the exchange for sexual services is not provided with money but by other services. This is the key point to understanding why relationships are not based on genuine love. The basis of all relationships is self-love. We find ourselves a spouse because the spouse is able to satisfy our desires well. Therefore, a relationship is based on self-love, the boy finds a girlfriend because she satisfies his interests, while simultaneously the boyfriend satisfies her interests. Hence is the birth of all relationships.
If you still disagree with thinking of relationships are being based on our own self-interests then consider this. A boy and a girl are in a relationship. The girl finds a new boy that she happens to like even more. What will be the reaction of her boyfriend? He would get angry, he would fall into a state of depression, might even break up with her after hearing that. But why?! If he loves his girlfriend genuinely then it must make sense that he would be happy! She is happier to be with a new boyfriend, if he genuinely loves her then it must follow that he must be happy too upon hearing these news from her. But he is not happier, he is angry and depressed. Because she leaves him. And as a result he loves someone who was able to satisfy his interests. That is why he is angry and that is why he is sad. Such a relationship is not mainly based on love of the other spouse but rather on love of the person for themselves.
Consider this one final question if you still disagree with me. I will assume you are straight because that is what more people are. If your partner one day magically turned into a guy would you still "be in love together" (whatever that expression even means to you). Be honest with yourself. And realize that your relationship is based on self-interest.