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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Bisexual Gender Theory

I had this idea for quite a while and I was very certain of myself but the more I discussed it with other people online it seems that I am way off from the truth. My idea was that almost every person is a bisexual. Very very few people are either exclusively straight or exclusively gay. Most are somewhere in between. When a guy says he is straight what he really means to say is that he leans very much to the straight side but there is a part of him that can still be aroused by guys. Thus, he is uninterested in having boyfriends but he can sometimes, on few occasions, be sexually aroused by other guys. So he is not dominantly straight, there is a small part of him that is gay. The same with gay guys. A gay guy wants to have a boyfriend but it does not mean he cannot be sexually attracted to another girl on a few occasions. Likewise, a gay guy is not dominantly gay, there is still a small part of him that can be attracted to a girl. Most people are therefore bisexuals. But they just pick a sex which they happen to be more attracted to and identify their gender based on that sex. This was my theory about gender, I also believed that the reason why more people do not say what I say is because it is socially unacceptable, still to some degree, to admit you are attracted to the same sex.

Now I happen to be a bisexual. I am a guy but I can find some guys to be really sexy, and I find lots of girls to be sexy. I masturbate to both straight and gay porn. Sometimes I feel to just watch gay porn and other days I feel to just watch straight porn. In general though I find girls sexier than guys but that is only because girls, by their nature, are more into taking care of how they look. But the percentage of my attraction drastically changes when I concentrate only on gay guys, because they are, by stereotype, the ones who are more into their appearance. I am also very open to having a boyfriend, but I never had one. In fact, it would be nice to both have boyfriends and girlfriends, I think of myself as a bisexual polygamist, but I am getting off topic.

But I have not always called myself a bisexual, that is a recent label I put on myself. When I was a little younger I thought of myself as straight. I definitely knew I was not gay because I really really liked women. But at the same time I liked some guys out there as well. So I simply imagined that my fantasies involving other men were just a normal phase all teenage boys go through. But then one day I finally realized that perhaps I should better just describe myself as a bisexual and my gender made a lot more sense to me after that label.

Why am I telling this? Well, obviously one reason is that I get to have a chance to repulse some of my viewers with my gay and straight sexual fantasies (I do want to also mention that transsexuals can be hot too but I do not really watch tranny porn). Though what I say also is relevant to my theory. I probably came up with the bisexual gender theory by projecting my gender onto others. This is similar to what many heterosexuals do. These heterosexuals look at their own sexuality and assume that every person out there must have the same sexuality, so it is hard for them to accept that homosexuality is something in people's personality, hence they believe that homosexuality is a choice. It seems to me now that I am probably making the same error. That I look at my own gender and project it onto other people. I used to be very sure of my theory but with conversing with more people on this issue I realized that I am wrong in many cases. Some people are exclusively straight. Of course, it is possible for them to be denying their same sex attraction because they are uncomfortable with such an admission. That would make sense in some cases, however, I found the same phenomenon in gay men. I know this one gay guy (Oh my Science, he is so hot) who when I discussed this idea with him told me that he never once had a fantasy involving a girl even though he may hug them and kiss them he never feels a sexual attraction to them. It may make sense to say that some straight people deny their gay side because they are uncomfortable around it, however, it would not make sense to say that involving gay men are uncomfortable around their straight side. My theory begins to look weak after inspection with other people on this topic.

I know there is a tendency among people to deny that bisexuals exist. A lot of people think that bisexuals are just semi-closeted homos, including gay people themselves. I can understand why that attitude is often taken because it is true in certain cases. It is easier for a gay guy to first come out as a bisexual and work himself out to be a gay. So often people see bisexuals coming out as gay. So this attitude is certainly understandable, but there are genuine bisexuals out there. There are existent. I seem to have taken the antipodal position and suggested that there are nothing but bisexuals in existence, and there are no genuine gay or straight people out there, sexuality is a spectrum and people identify their gender simply based on various degrees of homo and heterosexuality.

I was curious to hear responses to my theory from other people by introspecting yourselves. Do you think I am way off in my classification of sexuality? Does anything I say have any merit to it? Which parts do I have to refine?

You know what is great about being a bisexual? You get to double your chances of finding someone.


  1. I agree with you for the most part.

    I think most people are somewhere in between homosexual and heterosexual, and could probably be classified as bisexual. Needless to say, this is considered very controversial, and as you correctly point out, the vast majority of homosexual and heterosexual people will angrily deny this.

    Again, I think most people fall somewhere between gay and straight on the Kinsey scale. One reason why your gay and straight acquaintances deny having any feelings for the same or opposing sex (besides social pressure) could be that they are extreme examples, people that are on opposing ends of the Kindey scale. I don't imagine they are representative of all humanity.

  2. Yes, I agree with OTD. Why not instead of saying "all people are bisexual" simply say "most people are bisexual?" It can be a continuum and still include some pure cases.

  3. Yeah, I came here to say that you really have to talk about the Kinsey scale if you're going to say anything about the subject. I agree that sexuality is more fluid than most people will admit to, mostly because of how ingrained in society homophobia has been.

    However, as someone who's really pretty straight while at the same time open-minded and not homophobic, I think you are too skeptical that we straights actually exist. Even when I find a man attractive, I really really don't ever have any desire to do anything with him.